Who Needs Boundaries?

By Chrissie VanWormer

I found myself severely burned out over the summer of 2011. I had been working non-stop for about three years trying to build my business, write a book, expand services, manage clients and the whole myriad of everything else that goes on with keeping a small business running. I have enjoyed the process and the challenges that have gone along with it but over the summer months, I found that suddenly every time the phone would ring, I was startled. Every time another email came in, I felt anxiety. I began to wonder if maybe I was showing symptoms of depression and I became concerned.

My office happens to be in my house and most of my clients know that. Last spring after a particularly long day, I finally closed my office door at 9:30 pm. Normally I would have climbed into my pajamas and hit the sack but I was hungry so I made myself a big salad, poured myself a glass of wine and sat down to relax. When the phone rang, I saw the name on the caller ID and my curiosity made me pick it up. The client on the other end explained his issue and, although I was sympathetic, his issue was not pressing and it could wait until the morning. I told him I would research it for him and send a response first thing the next day. I was surprised when he became agitated and said, “I know your office is in your house, Chrissie. Why can’t you just go in there and do it now.” Honestly, I wanted to hang up on him but business is business and, for me, emotion has no place there. I explained once more that I would take care of the issue in the morning….which I did, and all was well.

When my office phone rang early one Saturday morning this past July, a friend who had stopped in for breakfast looked at me when I jumped up and frowned. “You’re not really going to answer that, are you? It’s Saturday and it’s 7:15 a.m.” I looked at her and replied, “I have to. He never got back to me yesterday and they need the report on Monday morning.” She raised her eye brows and gave me a look. You know the look. The one that says, “Are you out of your mind? How important is it really?” I was aggravated at her and I realized that the aggravation was misplaced. She had a valid point. It was Saturday morning, we had planned to have breakfast then take a walk and I had been looking forward to it for several days. I had already blown her off several times during the week because things came up and I needed to work late. I knew what she was thinking in that moment and I knew she was absolutely right. I had set up a very unhealthy pattern not only for myself but for my clients as well.

So what did I learn from these two exchanges and many more others like them? Well, sometimes I can have a pretty hard head because I want to take good care of the clients I worked so hard to get. But finally, on that sunny July morning, I learned to draw the line; to set some boundaries.

Right after breakfast, before we left to take a walk, I went to my office answering machine and changed the message. I laid out my office hours and related that all business calls would be returned between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. It took about two weeks and a couple of agitated moments, but my clients all came around to the fact that everyone needs to have some free time and that I was better off for it.

When my kids were little, I always took time for myself to exercise, to write, to visit with my friends because I understood I was a better mother when I could be fully with them. My clients have come to realize that I provide better service when I can be fully in my work mind. We all need time off and we all need to set boundaries for ourselves.

As small business people, we want to service our clients. We want them to be happy with our services and we want them to refer us on. But if we set a few boundaries and be sure to take a little time for ourselves, we can provide even better service. And we’ll be a lot happier doing it. So, set those boundaries, change your answering machine message and do something that makes you happy. Life is not all about work. Have a little fun and come back to your work refreshed. Believe me when I tell you, it’s totally worth it.